Fifteen years and many battles: Ragini Dwivedi on survival and self-respect

It’s loads of lessons learnt, states Ragini Dwivedi of her 15 years as an actor in the Kannada film indus try. “I learnt everything about films from scratch here, also dealt with the toughest phase of my life here too, and also learnt to chose self-respect, and the fact that showing emotions does not weaken a woman, in fact it humanises her,” she says. Excerpts from a chat: 'KANNADA CINEMA IS WHERE I LEARNT IT ALL’ I had joined the sets of Veera Madakari in 2009 without know ing the language or any acting background. Every day on set was a lesson, and I credit my co-star Sudeep for shap ing my formative years as an actor. Though I have worked different regions, Kannada cinema remains my emotional home. I have always been proud to be known as a Kannada actress. I consider my film Ragini IPS an other turning point in my ca reer as, that film gave me strength and identity. It made me realise I could carry films on my shoulders.‘I WISH PEOPLE HAD STOOD BY ME DURING MY TOUGHEST TIME’ The most painful chapter of my journey was when I found my self isolated during a controver sy that I had got embroiled in. I was called an outsider, even af ter I had given my heart and soul to this industry. What hurt most was the lack of support. I felt cornered. I felt left alone to fight my own battles. That si lence stays with you. When you have nobody, you have yourself and God. I fought for my self. However, being strong does not mean I don’t feel pain. It does not mean I don’t break. I do and I have also learnt to express myself rather than hide my emotions. ‘ONE INCIDENT SHOULD NOT DEFINE A LIFETIME OF WORK’It’s unfair that one unfortunate incident starts defining you, rather than your performances. I lost roles but it did not break my belief in myself. I chose dig nity, even when it cost me work. But I will never regret choosing my self-respect. For me, compro mise has limits. You win some, you lose some. But you should never lose yourself.